Euridice

“Antonina is a bitch from USSR, she loves striptease and sex in the car!”

A verse from the song Antonina by the former pop electronic band 5HORSES, from Estonia, perfectly summarizing the essence of Antonina Ho, a drag persona and alter ego of band member J.

The idea for the creation of Antonina happened when J was watching the underground-style drag competition “Dragula” by the Boulet Brothers, which challenges drag artists to compete against each other in the four main principles of the show: “Drag”, “Filth”, “Horror” and “Glamour”, celebrating alternative drag art. Resulting from this, J’s motivation to create something “dark” and “weird” began, finishing it with the narrative of the russian woman from the song Antonina, who is very sexual but cannot express this part of her personality because the topic of sex did not openly exist in Soviet-Union.

Antonina Ho (Ho for hoe) was born gracing the stages of queer bars and clubs with her dark, sexy, and rebellious performances, spreading statements about LGBTQ and women rights and being a catalyst for provocation and expressing those thoughts and energies which always and only find place in queer environments.

One of those bars was Sveta, in Estonia, not officially a queer space from the beginning but naturally it became one. It was the stage where Antonina Ho had her first appearance in 2021. In that time, Antonina started to do lip sync, short for lip synchronization, which is a technique used to match lip movements with recorded vocals. It is not only found in movies or video games but is a crucial category of drag performance and Antonina’s main one. Accompanied by dance moves, she is mimicking the way the songs are sang by the original artist, creating the illusion that she herself is singing the song. For her first performance, the drag persona was not wearing a mask but showed her face with crazy make-up. J was not confident with drag make-up and decided that instead of learning and applying eyeliner and fake lashes, Antonina gets a mask, but a non-conventional one: black tights over her face, cut out to see the movements of the mouth, a white cross over each eye and another red fishnet tight over the head.

With this look Antonina represents something new and alternative, but also mysterious, because the audience can create a fantasy around her: who is she? How does she look like underneath the mask? Furthermore, she wants to show that you do not need to know how to do drag make-up to be a drag artist; black tights over the face with white crosses is already art, and beauty can be shown in various ways. Her first performance with the mask happened in Berlin at the end of 2022, in the gay club called SchwuZ. The audience reacted with surprise and excitement, also the drags backstage complimented Antonina for her stunning and unusual look.

The drag queen performs for now just in Berlin, but it is a wish to go on stage in other cities. For the performances Antonina prepares differently, depending on if she is going to use a prop, such as a stuffed toy or a dildo, or not. In case of using a prop, she is practising it, otherwise she is focusing on learning the lyrics, but the movements and gestures on stage are improvisation. Another step of getting ready, which takes more time is choosing the right outfit.
Antonina gets her inspiration from her and J’s favourite artist Taylor Momsen, the lead singer of The Pretty Reckless, a rock band from New York. According to the genre, Taylor Momsen incorporates rock and grunge elements in her style, which can be seen in the outfits Antonina chooses for the stage. Therefore, she likes to discover treasures in J’s wardrobe or looking for sexy underground outfits in vintage stores. Her favourite colour is red, which explains the red fishnet over her mask, a colour of sexual and provocative meaning.

Not only are The Pretty Reckless a source of inspiration, but she also loves to perform to their song You make me wanna die, which she did one time in Tipsy Bear, a queer bar in Berlin. This performance is very special to Antonina, her favourite one so far because it was full of energy, the crowd was screaming and celebrating every second of it as well as she did and from that moment on You make me wanna die became her most loved song to do on stage.

All in all, Antonina Ho is a vision, a door to crash open with thick black boots, self-made mask and ripped tights, a way to feel confident and powerful while smashing gender normative standards with splits and extravagant dance moves. Antonina is language of communication. Even though she does not see herself as part of the drag scene, but an expression of J, her being on stage brings joy, excitement, and inspiration for each of us, dismantling patriarchal structures we were born into and getting closer to our truest self, being fierce and fearless, speaking up, and to not give a damn f*ck.

“Same was before and I see it now,

love should be free from politika,

people don’t think and people don’t care,

nightmare,

Antonina!”

5HORSES, Antonina

Sofia Koch